June 2012
You know what I don’t understand?
That really skinny censor bar that only covers up like 1/100th of the penis in mangas
May 2012
A couple of my friends on facebook were talking about Nick Fury reading Go The Fuck To Sleep, and dared me to come up with a verse for each Avenger on the fly.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Thor, put your hammer down.
No more pop-tarts for a week.
Your father is sleeping, so why aren’t you?
Just go the fuck to sleep.
It’s time for Tony to go to bed.
JARVIS won’t make a peep.
You can be a billionaire playboy tomorrow.
Now go the fuck to sleep.
Steve is curled up on his shield.
The lights are out on the street.
Time to dream of apple pies.
And go the fuck to sleep.
Even Bruce is all hulked out.
No more giants leaps.
You wouldn’t like him when he’s tired.
So he went the fuck to sleep.
Clint never misses bedtime.
His purple blanket is in a heap.
Clint, get out of Natasha’s bed.
And go the fuck to sleep.
Natasha has had enough of this.
It’s sleeper-holds for the weak.
That’s why she’s my favorite agent.
She’s going the fuck to sleep.
Even Coulson is ready for bed.
To dream of tazing sheep.
Supernanny marathon’s on tomorrow.
So go the fuck to sleep.
The Avengers are all in bed now.
I think I’m gonna weep.
Good thing I’ve already got one eye closed.
I’m going the fuck to sleep.
“Saul tells David to bring him 100 Philistine foreskins since, y’know David can’t just be like ‘hello, please give me your foreskin so I can get married’, he’s gonna have to kill them right? So David is just like ‘ha!’ and brings back 200 for the wedding! In a basket! What do you even DO with 200 foreskins?!”
“Hand them out as party favors?”
“Make a stew.”
“Uh… both you fail my class. That’s just gross.”
